2018 Summary

2018 OBJECTIVES:
2018 Theme: “Dyadic Partnership vs Paternal to produce self-efficacy”
Survive 365 Days in 2018
62 Miles Bike Ride – Rosedale Ride – March
62 Miles Bike Ride – Outlaw 100 – October
Daily crunches – 2 minutes
Daily sword training – 10 minutes
Daily weight training – 60 minutes
Daily 2-Mile Hike/25 lbs pack [rain, shine, snow] – 40 minutes
Weekly 2.4MileLong Distance Swim
Weekly subsurface swim with one breath
Weekly 40 Miles Cycling
Delete Social Contact Desire [lifetime]
Delete Acceptance Desire [lifetime]
Delete Status Desire [lifetime]
Delete comfortable bed, sleep in a military cot/sleeping bag [lifetime]
Read more
Write less
Listen more
Payoff House
Be there with Mom until the end December 19, 2019
Bury Mom, December 26, 2019

READING LIST
Book-Narcissism at Work
Book-Wiki Management
Book-Scarcity
Book-Self-Conscious Emotion
Book-Hypomania
Book-Oracle11g for Dummies
Book-The Great Leveler
Book-Collective Works of Jung
Book-Maps of Meaning
Book-Ethics of Belief
Book-Jung’s Four Archetypes
Book-IT Disaster Recovery
Book-Jung Dreams
Book-Outwitting our Nerves
Book-Ordinary Men
Book-Neuroeconomics
Book-Jealousy a Forbidden Passion
Book-12 Rules for Life
Book-On Becoming a Person
Book-When You Don’t Know Where to turn To
Book-Oedipus Complex
Book-Handbook of Social Psychology
Book-Handbook of Differential Diagnosis
Book-Jung Key Ideas
Book-Jung Seven Sermons to the Dead
Paper-Causes of Emotional Evanescence
Book-Microsoft Manual of Style
Paper-7 Characteristics of a Covert Narcissist
Book-Envy Theory, Perspectives on the Psychology of Envy
Book-Raspberry Pi for Dummies
Book-Cancer Connective Tissue
Book-Cancer System Biology
Book-Cancer Caregiving A-Z
Book-Medical Decision Making
Book-Stunned by Grief
Book-Cancer Symptoms Science
Paper-Fentanyl Transdermal Route Side Effects
Paper-Opiods and Chronic Pain
Paper-Common and Rare Side Effects for Fentanyl
Book-Depression of Grief
Book-Kierkegard Concept of Despair
Book-Rank Art of Living
Book-Group Psychology and Ego
Book-Kierkegard Concept of Despair
Book-Denial of Death

2018 started with positive notes. I had all my plans laid out the same way as the previous years. Little did I know that I will experience a tragic loss of my mother by the end of the year. I’m a little okay now but it’s too early to tell if I am truly back to normal. Even talking to people or sharing some intimate things here is a burden. Maybe in a few months. Physically I am fine and doing the routines daily. No changes there.

I’ve recorded multiple long conversation with my mother on her last days and I am still playing the recording from time to time and most of the time I end up smiling while I’m listening. Her going away is now a much accepted fact compared to last month.